Another Step Toward Hope...

So today I signed the contract for the autistic service dog with Pawsitive Service Dog Solutions.  Being a law student, I read it through carefully and had to call and ask questions. I am totally tainted on how to read contracts now and take nothing for granted.  We agreed to a minor change in the contract and I signed, dated, folded it up and sent it in the mail.  A contract acceptance is valid upon dispatch.  There it goes. Locked in.  Oh my....now I have to keep breathing.

Following the contract was an email on how to raise the money.  Oh boy...okay.  I used to be in fundraising, income development large and small.  Somehow it was easier to raise money for cancer research, a church and a school for special needs kids then for my kids service dog but it is do-able.  So much information to cover, so much to do.  Phone calls, letters, researching options.

WHAT?!?!  Am I crazy?  I am a full time Mom of two kids with special needs, I work and I am going to law school.  I am the mental health shuttle bus and the Mom taxi to teen land.  Now I am supposed to find time to write letters, plan and coordinate events, make calls, follow ups and manage a fundraising campaign.  This is totally insane.  I was having trouble breathing before all of this and just thinking of adding more makes oxygen very thin.

I gotta say though, it is kind of a nice stress.  It feels like I can do SOMETHING to help my son.  It gives us all an action towards hope.  It puts us out to our community in a vulnerable way but those who answer will answer with kindness and love. We have felt so isolated and alone in the autism and the bipolar issues that having folks respond to this need in any way, big or small, is HUGE to us.  Five dollars is a huge show of support because it means someone cares and wants my kid to not feel like the freak at least just a little, and a whole lot of littles make a whole lot of caring and a life changing, possibly even life saving difference.  It's risky, scary and a lot of work but I think it might be possible. I pray it is possible.  I hope. I like to have a way to channel my hope, channel my positive energy and give it a job.  I forgot in all of the darkness of late how much I like to hope.